Glob

The other day I talked to Marv Penner, Youth Ministries professor at Briercrest and also the speaker during this week’s staff training at Q. He had just finished giving a great talk on love and relationships to us. Through the week he’s spoken to us several times, and at first I was very disappointed, because the first time he talked to us he told us that after being in ministry for 40 years, he’d come to realize that he’d never loved Jesus… or something. It frustrated me. I know there’s this notion of the church being the bride of Christ. I can confidently say that I can understand God the father as my father, and Jesus as my brother, teacher, and a sacrifice for my sin, but I struggle a little bit more to say “I need to be in love with Jesus”. Jesus loves me, yes, I love Jesus too, but “in Love?” The girl who said she’s beginning to understand what it means to “fall in love with Jesus” needs to try to explain it to me in more concrete terms I think.

So I talked to Marv Penner. I didn’t really know what I was going to say. I asked my question, but I do a better job writing my question here than I did when I said it to him. My question was, in a much more direct way: Why doesn’t the bible talk about chivalry? Why doesn’t God command men to let women go ahead of them in line? Why does it seem like the bible has no useful information on how to meet the love of your life? A prayer, a well, some camels, 2 gold bracelets and a nose ring?

I decided all on my own that if the Jesus himself didn’t tell me how to fall in love with the right person, then it must be simple; it must be intuitive; it must be something you learn from your parents- like how to talk; Something that people don’t forget how to do, but that they can always do when they have to. I decided that there must be some natural way of things which makes fat people fall in love with people less shallow than I am. I came up with a solution that fit my mind, and then I started to forget I’d even thought about it.

But then Marv Penner came along and told me things I didn’t know. Things about relationships that are based in an overall understanding of the scripture’s teachings on how we ought to live. He said (for example) that the decision to not have premarital Sex in order to avoid the consequences, such as pregnancy or simply emotional hurt, is not enough to keep Christians abstinent, and that the only good enough reason for abstinence is a love for God. Don’t ask me why, but that wasn’t something I’d spent enough time considering.

But Marv didn’t completely answer my question, but then I didn’t completely ask it, I didn’t make a whole lot of sense when I started trying to talk to him. But I said that the story of Isaac and Sarah didn’t help me, and neither did the gospels. He told me that chivalry is in the bible, that it’s just part of treating others how we would like to be treated. He asked me if I was familiar with the story of Hosea, and when I said “no” he told me a little bit about it, and I’m excited to try and read the whole book (when I get the time, I’m scheduled straight from 8:30am to 10:00pm these days and I’m not feeling able to start reading the bible in another place as well as the places I’m already slowly reading from) He also told me that he knew a guy in India who’s marriage was arranged by his parents with excellent result.

So yeah, I actually felt pretty dumb, pretty unprepared with my question. It seemed very foolish as I was asking it, but what I took from my talk with Marv most of all is that I need to develop my character. He said that if I’m the man that God wants me to be then I’ll be the husband God wants me to be, and the Father God wants me to be. If the only good enough reason to avoid the pitfalls of relationships is a love for God, I’d say I need to work on that.

So now I’m still confused; what about the female counselor who mountain bikes? Do I focus inward on my own character, outwards at the pretty girls, or both? What’s my objective?

Oh yeah, the campers, they’re coming on Saturday. I guess they’re the reason God’s placed me here.